St. Olaves Exam

The St. Olaves Exam is simply a way of culling the herd. Those who are smart will get in. Those who are not smart will worry about their lives, and then kill themselves by biting their own arm off and beatingthemselves to death with it. Those who are too smart will suffer from brain haemorrages and collapse on the floor of the exam hall, trying to find meaning in the universe. They will get in (usually) but people will ask why they've all been given white coats that strap round at the back.

Those who do Pub science will efficiently read through the paper, read it again, then weep when they realise that there are NO TICKBOXES. Nada. They will often resort to drawing little tickboxes next to their work, demoting their answers and making tem look like spoon-fed sheep-children.

Result System
Your possible grades are:
 * Pass (with merit)
 * Pass
 * Fail
 * Epic Fail
 * Catastrophic Fail
 * Apocolyptic Fail
 * Minionising Fail
 * Epic Minionising Fail
 * Catastrophically Epic Fail
 * Catastrophic Epic Minionising
 * Why Bother?
 * Are you even a worthwhile member of the human race?
 * Please Justify your Existence

(the above list is organised in order, with the best results at the top, and the worst results at the bottom)

Results (For Pub science Students)
From "Fail" and lower. If you decide to take science. Which you will, inevitably, do.

Results ("Average" students)
You may be reduced to crying, then disbelief, then the feeling of acceptance, then the feeling of further doom and loss of hope, followed swiftly by the foetal position. All of this will happen either before the exam, after the exam (directly after - after about 5 minutes, you will try to block the exam from your mind) or during the exam (after the first few minutes - if you can survive reading the test through, you have a strong mind and will, and should be able to survive the pure bombardment of impossible to answer question that you will be presented with).